The 15th of September

Sometimes it hits like a drum.
Beating, repeating; driving home the point.
And then, on occasion, a whisper.
A mild regret to mask an iceberg of force.
A thousand what-could-have-beens,
a candle,
lit. To remember.
And the hours that cast forward,
bring me beating back
to the 15th of September.

Sometimes it’s like a barricade
hard and brutal; damming up my foggy eyes.
And then, it rains, like Sycamores
shedding bark and hurt and earthly pain
A million cells of salvaged mind,
thoughts,
preserve. What I remember.
And the hours that cast forward
bring me beating back
to the 15th of September.

Sometimes it’s like a terror fire
turning, burning; anger lit from pity.
And then, it’s spent, and over now.
Clothed in tired mind and feeling better.
No more sadness here remains,
I am told,
the Heavens. Call him member.
And the hours that cast forward
bring me beating back
to the 15th of September.

Dad………….14 years too long.

Hymns are good for the soul

When we’ve been here ten thousand years…
bright shining as the sun.
We’ve no less days to sing God’s praise…
then when we’ve first begun.

-John Newton -

XXXII

I want to conquer the world,
plunge soul into its last rotating gasp,
blast elastic thoughts profound,
and will words north shielding drastic
thaws of sun-punched sky.

I want to invigorate existence,
bury all lessons learned for you
No fear to dare a smile through
each distance so blue and real and relenting.
Banish the sad news of invention.

I want to hesitate restrictions,
on how so happy you could build a home
settling this space oasis;
that of all the places we’ve ever known
has always been our only stone.

I want to be that guy
bestowing structure in the stars,
collecting comets racing.
Making clear the earthly dark,
and humbling all distance.

A Personal Definition

A man with pride knows that all glory comes through self-sacrifice, and that scars are merely reminders of past victories over pitfalls. Pride is an internal self-reflection, and should be the result of a self-examining, truthful conscious. A man who judges his worth against the opinions and attitudes of others is bound to rise and fall with the ebb and flow of life. For if a man is proud of himself, proud of what he has built, and confident in his character – the world is not big enough to hold his holy pride. His righteous, God-given, God-fearing pride. In it, he finds himself worthy of a humble ego, and a valiant yearning to be better.

I love this hymn…

…it often closes out Church…
the last verse is great.

“and in this age of space…”

I can’t remember the rest, and it’s not on the net. I’ll look it up next week.

True stories from growing up

I think it would be cool to write a book with little excerpts and funny stories of my childhood, I could use old pictures and illustrate the rest in paintbrush or drawings.. I was thinking of this the other day and had tons of ideas… for now I can only think of a few, but I’ll come up with more…maybe even start writing some of these true stories…

-Vlad the Destroyer and the Mormons
-My Jersey Aunt yelling at everyone to clean my moms house
-The hershey park cow story
-Telling my younger brother that we had an older brother in college (and he forgot about him)
-Meeting Fuel on Halloween
-The Jesus impersonator guy
-My 9-year-old brother “insulting” my friend by telling him they have a big penis
-My brother inventing weapons and waiting out for my much older friends to chase them down the street
-Breaking and reassembleing stuff
-Daniel and the 666mobile
-Micah and the Railroad tracks
-The cemetery woods end of the school year middle-school extravaganzas
-Rediculous Dungeons and dragons
-Fishhatchery and netting the fish
-Capture the flag, snow, paintball.
-Shooting my friend in pointblank range with a paintball and him thinking someone else did it.
-Skipping school – rope swings, wilcox,
-Discovering the cemetery
-the candy stash
-the trails

Accomplish one thing?

If you could accomplish only one thing during the rest of your life, what would it be?

When I read this question and actually began to weigh my greatest goals, grandest dreams, and craziest delusions against each other, I drew a blank.  I have so many silly little things I want to accomplish with life…  I’d love to make my mark in music with some of the songs I’ve written, or be teacher of the year, or maybe to have taught someone who becomes much greater than myself (probably an easy thing to do :-P ).  I’ve always thought of ending up being a college professor or in politics as a Congressman or State Senator.  Ultimately though, I wouldn’t consider myself a failure if I never lived to accomplish any of those things.  If I could succeed in only one thing, I would want to be a good example of the love and self-sacrifice my mother showed for my brother and I, and to successfully pass on those values to the next generation.  So that when I’m 80-years-old, looking back on my life; awards fade, jobs end, markets go up and down, family, friends, and love endure.

All Good Men

They say that all good men are buried in the Earth
they are like dinosaurs extinct cept when they breathe inside your mind.

They say that all good deeds are destined to destroy
if they’re not meant for right.  Oh baby I am right.

I don’t think God missed the mark with you somehow
Whiskey springs and all the rings that you turned down.

Tell it to me one more night.  Spell it out in black and white.
I’m feeling like the time is right  So now
C    Em          C         C  Em             C        C   Em           Am
I want you now – I want you now – I want you now.

Your loving hands come searching tell you what I’d do
No pulling back the curtains making love to you

Tell it to me one more night.  Spell it out in black and white.
I’m feeling like the time is right  So now
I want you now – I want you now – I want you now. (x 2)

They say that all good girls are married to the boys
they loved on their first night
they’re probably right.

Well I don’t think the way you walk could let me down.
Got no dishes in the kitchen sink with you around.

Tell it to me one more night.  Spell it out in black and white.
I’m feeling like the time is right  So now
I want you now – I want you now – I want you now. (x 2)

They say that all good men are hopeless to the fact that loves a waiting game
oh baby I’m the same.

XXXI

So you’ve rose so high on sky.
Light upon light upon light.
Thank you – for the morning done.
That heavens dance with fools and wine.

And at times we are but hap to take.
Raised above the earthen spine.
My dear, my dear, my dear awake.
Will you set with me – sunshine?

Gonna be teaching something new next year…

Journalism (and yearbook).

The school’s newspaper has been subpar for years – this is a good chance to make my mark, and to make the newspaper a source of pride.

Better hit the books

…..and yes I can finally say I’m truly applying my major.